It has become so difficult to feel like we watch her say no to the Lord and a relationship with Him. The more it happens the more difficult it becomes for me to take.
A week ago I went downstairs and shared this with her. How difficult and sad it was to watch her be miserable trying to fill her life with other relationships but miss out on God's best for her life. It was a long conversation and we both shared.
The worst part is that she knows it. She just says that she can't take that step of faith to make the great exchange. The exchange of her life for God's life for her. From conversations with her it seems to stem from a fear in what her parents will do or think, fear that she doesn't have all the answers.
We've been burdened for others in the past but this is very different since she lives with us. We do life with her. AND God has knit her and I's hearts together like I've not experienced with a person that is not like minded before. Literally I feel like some days I just can't take it anymore.
It seems everytime the Lord gives me an opportunity to talk with her about spiritual things I see Him knocking on her hearts door. There have been several times at church that I feel like He had made things clearer to her yet she did not turn to Him. Yesterday was one of them and it was so hard I could hardly stand up. It's just sad.
I've blamed myself for not being a bright enough light to her. Yet I've been completely honest with her about the ways God is chipping away at the sin in my life.
I've wondered if being with us enables her because she also relies on us instead of God for comfort, support, etc. I've wondered why God just won't take the spiritual blinders off her since I know from His Word that the battle is spiritual.
Would you please pray for her and us? We all just love her too much to sit around a watch her live like this and we also know that no one is promised tomorrow. She knows that too which makes it even harder.
We love you Yi!
Please Lord don't make the next time the last time you knock on her hearts door. Do not harden her heart but soften it toward Yourself.
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