We have been working on making "older child" adoption, adopting out of birth order, and virtual twinning a normal at our house for almost 7 months now. My journal and praying has reflected the constants of it all too. Like so many things recently in my life the verse that always applies is "Being content in all things." Especially when you feel like you have rocked the boat of your family and you're really not sure it will ever calm again.
One of the conclusions I have come to is this journey is not one that finishes tomorrow or the next, or the next after that. Parenting in any way is a long term commitment. While parenting biological children and adopted children does have it's similarities it also comes with it's differences. In so many ways all my kids are just kids. In other ways they are so different and have different needs.
In adopting out of birth order and virtual twinning many of the same things Joy is going through so is Faith. I was looking at some pictures of our family the summer before Joy came home and realized that now Joy stands in a similar spot as what Faith used to in family pictures. So no matter how much we spend time with each one individually they are still competing for a place in pictures, the church pew, the line at the grocery store, etc.
Like so many other families I have found it best to separate them in classes, let them have their own friends, their own stuff, their own space in their room, and the list goes on and on. The point is that it just isn't easy
Where I finally come to after thinking and praying through all these situations is that God has lots to teach us. We are learning and so are Faith and Joy. That is the joy of parenting. You get to see God work intimately in the lives of your children, His children. Then He takes you to a whole other place in trusting Him. That you can trust Him even when your kids are going through difficult things. You can trust Him when He has led you to any place, good or bad, and increasing your family through adoption is always good.
I started writing this post 6 weeks ago. Now my "virtual twins" have more good times than bad. Right now they are coloring their piano homework together.
They are currently working to save to buy mice as pets! They looked at the prices of all the necessary supplies and decided it would be better to work together and have one cage instead of two. (Don't tell Clayton yet that they are saving to buy rodents as pets!) They are working so well and sweetly together I just can't tell them no. It is true we work more effectively together than apart isn't it? My two amazing 9 year olds are learning that as well!
She is always asking where God is, and saying she can't see Him. Yesterday she was asking why she can't see wind. I got to give her the analogy of the wind being like God, you can see the effects but not actually the wind, like God, we can see Him working in our lives, His creation, Him working in others' lives, but can't physically see Him. She had an Ah-ha moment. The look on her face was great and she said a long drawn out "OHHH!"
It's fun to see God working in her life and a privilege to be here to experience all her ah-ha moments!
Another exciting thing going on in our lives is that our friend Yi is coming to live with us next weekend! She will stay with us until June when she goes back to China for 2 months to visit her family. Such an incredible opportunity!
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