Answered Prayers

It has been so fun to help advocate and pray for these cuties over the last several months. AND that they ALL have families in process to adopt them is just amazing! Thank you Lord for "setting the lonely in families". Psalm 68:6

Please pray for more children from An Orphan's Wish to become available for adoption. Check out the website for ways that you can help this great organization and the kids they help and love.

Joy and I will be traveling to Guilin to visit in April. If you have any of the items listed here post a message with your email address and I can give you my address. I'm hoping to have two suitcases of supplies to take over and leave.

Sweet Times

In light of the fact that Grace and Faith went to the Bodies Exhibit in Atlanta today with a friend and Joy was feeling a little left out I decided we'd do some baking together. It's not often after all that I just have one child in the kitchen "helping". As it turned out Joshua wanted to "help" too but that was okay. Don't you love the way Joshie's eyes disappear when he smiles?!

 Josh did disappear for the second dessert we were making. I think this is the first time her and I have had an uninterrupted, just her and I, conversation since she has learned to communicate in English more. I've noticed her English skills have really taken off in the last month. We talked about China and her experiences here, the differences. It was so sweet to hear her talk about her two very different experiences, countries, and families as if they were intertwined. She seemed at peace with her life. When I took the pictures she asked if we could send them to Nai Nai.

She loves to help. I think it helps her feel like a part of her family. I see signs that she is learning what forever is. Today she asked why I didn't live with Nana and Papa still. I told her that I met Daddy and we got married so now we live together here. She said a few things that made me think that she is starting to realize that her choosing to get married and move away is the only way she is leaving us. So grateful for these times with her and the glimpses of her understanding of forever and family! It was hard not to let her go today but honestly she is still so immature and the Bodies Exhibit or any museum would be hard for her to understand and not just act silly in. I've told her we'll take her when she is a little more mature and I'm grateful God gave us a good day together.

Now on to planning dinner with some friends... Chinese noodles and Orange Chicken with girlfriends!! The guys are away at a Men's Conference so we are going to enjoy brownies, strawberry shortcake, ice cream, and some new Chinese recipes!

An Older Child's Perspective on Growing Up as an Orphan

This story has really just left me speechless and prayerful. Wondering what more I can do for the plight of the orphan. Please read An Orphan's Story and consider praying and taking the hand of one of the many children that desperately want a family of their own.

Until God gives them ALL homes!

What does procrastination look like??

Right now at my house it is this....

A Chinese/ English Bible, a translator, and Chinese Made Super Easy book (what a joke!)

I have been trying to learn Chinese for almost 2 years now. I am closer than I was but I've been procrastinating getting serious about it. But now I have good reason to start cramming.

Joy and I are headed to China. Most likely over spring break. And I have a goal... I want to be able to share the Good News with Joy's Nai Nai and a friend we met on the train to Guilin and have kept in touch with.

So I started thinking about how to do this... at first I thought "Okay every spare minute I'll study."

Then I thought, "Uh-oh I have no spare minutes."

So... the plan is get up an hour earlier during the week and hear from God in His Word, then ask Him for some serious help remembering this language, and study Chinese.

It helps that in a week my Chinese friend will be living with us for 4 months. Can't wait to be able to communicate with her in Chinese instead of mostly English!

Please pray that God would orchestrate the details of our trip. We'll get to spend some precious time with friends and in places that we know through Joy's adoption process. I'm so grateful for confirmation in God's Word that indeed we should go after a season of questioning if we understood Him right.

Only I could be doing a study in the Bible of Ephesians, then end up in Romans and Isaiah. (must be why I have only been able to read through the Bible once in my life... I get side-tracked) It's just like the Lord though to provide exactly what I need at exactly the perfect time.

"How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who poclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, Your God reigns!"
Isaiah 52:7

" How, then can they call on the One they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the One of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? And it is written, How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" Romans 10:14-15

The not so normal norms of virtual twinning

I wrote the first part of this post in early December and the last part in January:

We have been working on making "older child" adoption, adopting out of birth order, and virtual twinning a normal at our house for almost 7 months now. My journal and praying has reflected the constants of it all too. Like so many things recently in my life the verse that always applies is "Being content in all things." Especially when you feel like you have rocked the boat of your family and you're really not sure it will ever calm again.

One of the conclusions I have come to is this journey is not one that finishes tomorrow or the next, or the next after that. Parenting in any way is a long term commitment. While parenting biological children and adopted children does have it's similarities it also comes with it's differences. In so many ways all my kids are just kids. In other ways they are so different and have different needs.

In adopting out of birth order and virtual twinning many of the same things Joy is going through so is Faith. I was looking at some pictures of our family the summer before Joy came home and realized that now Joy stands in a similar spot as what Faith used to in family pictures. So no matter how much we spend time with each one individually they are still competing for a place in pictures, the church pew, the line at the grocery store, etc.

Like so many other families I have found it best to separate them in classes, let them have their own friends, their own stuff, their own space in their room, and the list goes on and on. The point is that it just isn't easy

Where I finally come to after thinking and praying through all these situations is that God has lots to teach us. We are learning and so are Faith and Joy. That is the joy of parenting. You get to see God work intimately in the lives of your children, His children. Then He takes you to a whole other place in trusting Him. That you can trust Him even when your kids are going through difficult things. You can trust Him when He has led you to any place, good or bad, and increasing your family through adoption is always good.

I started writing this post 6 weeks ago. Now my "virtual twins" have more good times than bad. Right now they are coloring their piano homework together.

They are currently working to save to buy mice as pets! They looked at the prices of all the necessary supplies and decided it would be better to work together and have one cage instead of two. (Don't tell Clayton yet that they are saving to buy rodents as pets!) They are working so well and sweetly together I just can't tell them no. It is true we work more effectively together than apart isn't it? My two amazing 9 year olds are learning that as well!

By the way... Joy's lips are blue because of a candy cane she ate. Her heart repair continues to amaze us. As a matter of fact the other day I got to explain a little of her God size story to her. She is memorizing Deuteronomy 31:8 "And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; Do not fear nor be dismayed." I shared with her how God gave people in China money for her to have her heart surgeries done and that God provided Nai Nai to love her and care for her.

She is always asking where God is, and saying she can't see Him. Yesterday she was asking why she can't see wind. I got to give her the analogy of the wind being like God, you can see the effects but not actually the wind, like God, we can see Him working in our lives, His creation, Him working in others' lives, but can't physically see Him. She had an Ah-ha moment. The look on her face was great and she said a long drawn out "OHHH!"

It's fun to see God working in her life and a privilege to be here to experience all her ah-ha moments!

Another exciting thing going on in our lives is that our friend Yi is coming to live with us next weekend! She will stay with us until June when she goes back to China for 2 months to visit her family. Such an incredible opportunity!

That's It!!

I am officially getting OUT today. We are out of oatmeal and a multitude of other things but oatmeal happens to be the choice comfort food of Joshua. For those of you that have children that have gone without food for extended periods of time at some point in their lives you know that this is an emergency. He has eaten oatmeal every day for the past 2 1/2 years. Poor baby looked at me in total disbelief and shock when I told him that we were out. I reassured him I would go to the store today though.

Thankfully God has brought him a long ways in this area over the past few months and after repeating after me that I would indeed get more today he chose some applesauce. Whew!

Now I just have to get up our hill when it warms up a bit! 

More Fun in the Snow

One of our cats snuggled up with the coats on our kitchen table... and it was ALOT of coats, gloves, and hats....

Watching a movie after a day in the snow. And no even when it is bitter cold outside Joshua does not like to wear clothes to bed!

 Everyone worked together to build one snowman then they each built their own group of smaller snowmen.

 This was some of the action shots and happy, determined faces while they ganged up on Clayton for a snowball fight.

 Yes, she did actually throw this one at him!

 Sheer fun!

 And of course the precious baby!

While this has been a fun break to the routine I am starting to feel like a caged animal. We have done school since there really isn't much else productive to do when not playing outside. But if you see me at some grocery store for several hours in the next few days you know I'm just enjoying the change of scenery AND getting all the things we ran out of! It seems that when caged in the house for 2 days the food goes away faster too!

Wow, Snow

We got about 7 inches of snow.

The sleds behind the 4 wheeler were a hit.

And I couldn't resist this little face. He played in the snow more this time. Joy asked him why he didn't like the snow and he said,

"Joy, snow is cold."

Joy really liked playing in the snow this time! She really enjoyed sledding, amazingly enough she liked the slower ride.

Considering the fact that she is always telling us to go faster in the car that is impressive.

Some friends from up the street came down to play too!

Sweet Faith and I heading down our hill!

Faith making a snow angel on our back porch.

Isaac and his friend racing down the hill.

The Dance

This term has been on my mind a lot recently. The adoption adjustment and attachment dance. I've read about it, heard about it, and felt it.

Adopting out of birth order. I've heard it, read about it, prayed through it, and lived it.

I've heard it's not fair... I wanted a younger sister.

I've heard it's not fair... I act older but yet am younger... she gets to have it both ways.

I've heard... we're embarrased... she acts silly...not 9.

I've done all the things you would do... reassure love... complained at the lack of compassion... felt sorry for a 10 and 9 year old that are just being that, 10 and 9,... felt sorry for the 9 year that has been taken from everything she ever knew to live here with us!

I try to let the child that has not experienced being 2 or 5 or 7 in this family be those ages at times. And at times I've had to show her how a 9 year old behaves. We don't jump on our friends when we see them, nor beg sisters or friends to do something we want over and over again. I teach taking turns, doing what other people want to do as well as wanting them to do what you want... you know the whole the world doesn't revolve around you thing. I've taught how to pretend with dolls, stuffed animals, play games.

God also gave my 9 year old, who was never taught how to just play, sisters that have taught those things to her very well!

There have been many times I have come face to face with this isn't easy!

There have been times I would just watch my virtual twins play. One an only child in a family for 9 years... the other the youngest daughter in a family for almost 9 years. When they get along they will frequently say, "We are getting along as well as we did when we were in China." Funny that they realize it!

I have dried tears as each cried over hurt feelings... these preteen girls of mine... each experiencing a major life change over the last year.

And this attachment dance... well it breaks my heart to think that Joy looks at us as most likely temporary... she hears us say it over and over but has never experienced it so will she ever believe us?

I pray she will, I pray she will one day see that the same God was with her in China, the one who created her, the one who cared for her in surgeries, sickness, pain, love, happiness. That God also knew a family that would forever love her. She would see that even though we go back and forward in this dance we are constant. Her siblings, her parents, everybody.

You see this has NOT been easy but as my girls play dolls together this afternoon I realize that not every parent cries when they see their kids playing together. I get to cry tears of gratefulness not because it's always peaceful but because I know that with every hard time is a learning lesson.

I think that's what God means when he says,

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

I'm glad God is working His character into us. So I'm grateful for this dance of attachment, assurance, and character building.