The Funk

Great title huh?

But that's just been what I've been in lately. I've found myself on more occasions than I want to remember telling myself to just breath. Repeating basic Bible verses about not being anxious, trusting the Lord.

I'm thinking it started with Joshua's first trip to Boston. I still question why we had to do that one and then another, knowing that God could have prevented it.

I question why we've had to go through waiting for answers to help him. I mean really God could have led us to Boston 2 years ago when we knew something wasn't quite right. But He didn't.

I'm learning that God is more interested in the journey than the outcome.

It's the same with our journey with Yi. I'm learning and so is everyone else in the family that our responsibility is obedience, NOT the outcome. God is responsible for convicting and prodding and pursing Yi's heart.

I know, basic truth but sometimes I think God continues to take us to new levels of understanding in basic truths. Aren't you grateful He's good to do that?!!

As I've nearly had panic attacks over Joshua's surgery I am reminded of that too. God led us to this step with Joshua and we just have to trust Him to guide us every step of the way.

So far He's provided a carrier that we can use for Joshua and then for Micah... for FREE, from a dear fellow adoptive momma. Then He provided the stroller that we will need in Boston to help stroll Joshua around to help take his mind off his pain.... for FREE from my sister.

Then God showed me a way to make Joshua food and store it so maybe we can help us all survive him on food restrictions for 6 weeks. That I paid $60 for but it'll be $ well spent if it'll help me and him survive. You see Joshie has all the signs of a child that was deprived of food for the first 2 years of his life. He really does well now but any time he's under stress (i.e. in pain, in a new place, on vacation, sick, etc.) he'll revert back to those old ways and reactions. Really, you could tell him he can't have a carrot and he could flip on us during those times. Like I said money well spent if I can process food for him and store it (since I do have 4 other kids) and have it ready when he thinks he needs it!

Then there is that minor glitch in money to get back and forth to Boston, pay for a place to stay, eat while there, and be in the adoption process at the same time. We had money in the bank from our adoption tax credit that we planned on using to travel. Now we need it to travel up to eastern USA. God is providing in great ways through extra jobs for Clayton and we may get another grant through our agency... always something to keep us dependant on Him that's for sure. This life is supposed to be lived by faith in Him right!!

Then there is that stinkin' LOA that China is not sending our way in my timing. Really... because of the above mention things I have bouncing around in my head I can see God's hand in prolonging this a few more months than we initially thought. BUT I do know that for kids with pasts that include abandonment, deprivations of any kind, etc. that the truth is God heals and restores and makes new paths in those dessert places BUT it is hard to feel like we couldn't get to them fast enough. That they have scars they carry, yet God uses for His glory. It's always just hard as parents to see our children walk through hard!

Here are some verses that have kept my head above water the past few weeks especially. Hope God's Word is an encouragement to y'all too!

Zephaniah 3:17
"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

Zephaniah 2:11
"The Lord will be awesome to them when He destroys all the gods of the land. The nations on every shore will worship Him, every one in its own land."

Habakkuk 3:19
"The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet liek the feet of a deer, He enables me to go onteh heights."

Obviously I have been reading the minor prophets which started with a study of Micah. This is the verse God used to help us name our Micah.

Micah 7:18, 19
"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of His inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; You will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea."

I'll never get over how God's Word can soothe our souls!

Sweet Victory

Yesterday afternoon the girls had tennis matches. Well, two of them did. Clayton banned Grace from playing even though she begged. She's supposed to rest her arm 5 days and today is 5. Unfortunately it still bugs her so we might give it a few more days and have to make the dreaded appointment with an orthopedic doctor.

The reason this is titled sweet victory is not that Joy and Faith won. They played well and they played TOGETHER. Except for one tense moment (and a bad attitude toward loosing from one of them) they actually had fun together. They laughed and the bad 'tude didn't get directed to her sister.

After adopting out of birth order and virtual twinning that my friends is sweet victory.


Then last night I walk up to tuck them into bed and see this sight... Girl Talk

This picture I took Saturday night. Everyone sitting on our bed watching Xi Yang Yang (a popular Chinese cartoon) Notice... Isaac's position... does he think he's the king of the house or what?!

Joy being baptized by Clayton Sunday morning was most definitely the highlight of the weekend. She was SO excited!

Those that she loves remain heavy on her heart even more now. She asked Friday night to call Nai Nai so we tried to call Nai Nai Sunday night and Yi was going to help Joy explain the verses Romans 10:9-13 to Nai Nai. Hopefully we'll get ahold of her this week sometime.

Friday night we also went to a "Revelation Road" put on by a church close to our house. Just the girls, Yi, and I went. I did give Yi fair warning of what it would be about according to the Bible.

My kids are so burdened for her. Grace kept asking me a month ago if I had told Yi about hell. To them they just can't fathom someone knowing the truth and not making a decision to follow Jesus.

Yi has asked me about heaven and hell. We talk so often and are doing a Firm Foundations study together. She'll ask lots of questions and want to understand more, then back off for a little while. We have to trust the One who opens spiritual eyes to do that for her.

Then after Grace and Faith saw the portrayal of Revelation they couldn't sleep. Literally crying for Yi. It breaks my heart for them and Yi.

Please continue to pray for Yi. We see her trying to fill her life with other things other than the only One that can fill her desire for love and acceptance. Some days she seems closer to accepting the truth than others. We love her deeply that's for sure and trust Him to continue to call her name.

A night at the park

We had a sweet night at the park together last night. Clayton has been working, working, and working some more. Since medical bills are mounting with trips to Boston we've had to delve into some adoption savings from Joy's tax refund. Thus more side jobs for Clayton. We are so grateful for God's provisions and it makes family time all the more precious when we don't get it as often.

Grace's arm is in the sling because about a month ago she had a spill on a pogo stick. It has been bothering her and this week it seemed to get worse. Thursday Joshua had an ENT appointment so we went early to go to the Children's Urgent Care to get an X-ray. Thankfully it is not broken so they suggested keeping it immobilized for 5 days. If it's not better we'll have to go see a pediatric orthopedist but we are praying it will be much better after resting it.

Could you love him?

I know you all know I love this place. If there is one place in China I love the most it is here because of the sweet family that God used to save our daughter's life. The same daughter who recently gave her life to Jesus and will be baptized this Sunday. It is amazing what a family can bring to a child. Could you be his? Please help us spread the word about sweet William.

William - Waiting For A Family from Heidi Reitz on Vimeo.
There is also a link to information about Hep B on www.anorphanswish.org. 5 years ago that would have been a scary medical need for me but I've learned alot since then. Please give William a chance at a family.

Stone Mountain

We met some friends from college at Stone Mountain this weekend. Here are the kids hiking up the mountain...

 Yi came with us and decided she loves camping. It was fun to have someone to help with the cooking and cleaning.

 My favorite part of camping in the fall and winter, the campfire...

 Sky Hike was by far the favorite for all the kids. Even Joshua did it, even I did it! I couldn't watch Joshua walk across the ropes and boards. I know I'm a big wimp and way too protective of him but let's face it he isn't the most coordinated 5 year old around. The thought of him falling even though he's attached to a rope was more than my stomach and knees could take. So one of our friends walked it with him instead and Yi and I laughed our way through it.

 Monkeys climbing a rock wall...

 Motivation to help mom clean out the camper and start the laundry. Pumpkin decorating... we have 3 smily faces, a butterfly, and 2 crosses.

We had a fun time and it was beautiful weather for camping!



God is good

I am coming out of overwhelmed mode now. We have a place to stay that sounds great and will only be $30 a night. It's patient housing specifically for families with children having surgeries or treatments. This house has a kids game room, movies to borrow, fully stocked kitchen, and is close to the hospital. One of us might stay at the house with Grace or we might trade off for the two nights Josh is in the hospital. Or we'll be so close we could all crash at the hospital if needed.

Grace, Clayton, Joshua, and I will go for the first week. We hope to do some site seeing in between the pre op appt and surgery day.

Clayton will come home for the second week (somebody's gotta work to pay for all this) and my mom will come to help in Boston.

All the kids at home have a place to stay. I have great friends and we have very helpful parents for which we are very grateful! It's humbling and nice to have friends that are not only willing to take more kids in but that insist on it.

Now it's time to just enjoy the next 6 weeks of school. We get to go camping at Stone Mountain this weekend and everyone is so excited to get a much needed break... especially me!

Surgery

It looks like we will be in Boston December 5th through the 15th with surgery scheduled on the 8th. (Insert loud groan here). Because it is a major surgery we have to go to a pre op appt. on the 6th.

It's almost more than I can think about to be honest. Planning to be gone that long, the details of the surgery, recovery, all of it is just so overwhelming.

Dr. Meara will take Joshua's entire palate apart. Skin, muscles, even nasal cavity, and then put it all back together correctly, making the palate longer. The reason why is because when he had his palate surgery in China they didn't put it together quite right nor long enough. The surgeries on his palate here weren't really what he needed but should ultimately help him get the closure he needs when his palate is put together right and made longer.

Then he will also do a lip revision which won't hurt as much as the palate but will be hard to look at for quite some time nonetheless. Not to mention the normal feelings of changing my babies face that I am having. I am trying to get lots of close up face pictures of him before changing the way he looks.

It is common to do a lip revision about this age on cleft affected kiddos it just makes me sad to think he'll look different. Glad to know so many other parents that have walked that road before me.

If you could just pray I don't have an anxiety attach between now and then. I know totally super spiritual but I'm just being honest. Surgery is NO fun! Increases Joshua's anxiety problems and just plain old stinks!

It's like knowing that you are walking into a hot furnace in a few weeks and there is no way around it other than through it. I do have some hope that this time will be different. I'm more aware of how to help him and everyone tells me that Boston Children's is great at looking at the whole child for pain management. I think that narcotics generally don't work on Joshua and increase his anxiety because all of his levels like serotonin, adrenaline, etc. are low and high anyway. Hoping and praying we can find a drug that can help him this time.

On a more fun note, here are some more fun pictures in Boston and my efforts at close ups of a constantly moving child....

 Waiting for the doctor appointment.

 Our new friend. They were so generous in letting us stay in their home during our stay.

 We went to the Children's Museum while waiting for our flight home. Joshua loved it and it was a great way to release some energy before sitting on an airplane.