The number 10

Why is this number bothering me so much?

10 surgeries in 6 years. Somehow that just seems like so much. I know of so many other families that have been through so much more but I'm still just struggling. Maybe it's the words "major surgery" that I've heard 3 times in 6 months and then Joshie has had to endure. Obviously I'm just weary of having to watch him endure so much. The last ear surgery was easier in many ways- we had been home a week from China with Micah, still jet lagged and oblivious. Not knowing what to expect was good until they brought him to us... now I know what his ear will look like.

I feel like I'm constantly grappling at God's Word for help, and peace, and hope. I know- that's a good thing but I'm looking to feel better, calm, peaceful, restful- to not have to just go through the motions of the next few days.

So... I'm venting... looking for prayers of the saints.

Praying that God would protect our little Joshie from any more emotional and developmental damage from yet another surgery. Of course, praying that God would guide the doctors and nurses hands to do what needs to be done in his ear to get our the stuff that's growing in it and graft his ear drum.

Praying that God would be glorified in all this. That I wouldn't just take the little man and run for the beach, pretending this doesn't need to be done. Maybe that's my problem- I really can't say in all honesty I care if God is glorified in all this... I just want it done and over... like fast forward through the next month of recovery and be done with it! Just being honest.

God has used so many verses to calm my heart. I'm also reminded as I type that last confession that where I am weak He is strong. That's where I need to be.

Prayers for him and us appreciated. Surgery is around noon on Wednesday. Thanks.