Isaac asked me tonight, "Mom, how does Zhi Zhou know you are his mom?"
A bit taken back by the question I say, "Well, I guess that people he knew in China told him that we were his family." And then I added, "And he believed them."
I know, not very quick on my feet these days.
Then Isaac says, "Hmmm... so what if he wouldn't have known anyone to tell him that in China?"
I pause for quite some time and say, "Well, I guess because I've been the one to feed him, hold him, help him, love him, sleep next to him he just knows I'm his mom."
He again says... "Hmmm."
Then I ask him, "How do you know I'm your mom?"
Isaac answers, "Well, I've just always been with you, I wasn't adopted."
Now like I said I was not very quick to the draw in this particular moment. What I wish I would have been ready to say was something about our adoptions into God's family and how we learn to trust Him more and more by just living life with Him. And how being in a family is similar in that Zhi Zhou just learns little by little that he can trust us to care for him and love him and that makes him certain we are his family, that I am his mom.
Unlike our relationships with God though mine is flawed. I will let Zhi Zhou down many times but God will ALWAYS be there for us however we need Him to be. Even when it seems maybe to me that He is not, I can trust Him that He is because He sees all and knows all and is all.
Tomorrow I'll take the opportunity to say all that to my VERY observant 7 year old who I'm so glad has the opportunity to think about these things. And that he had the opportunity to meet Zhi Zhou in China.
I find it interesting that out of all the kids he is the one that still calls Micah by his Chinese name the most. It always brings back memories of our time in China. Isaac constantly running ahead of Zhi Zhou to hide and then jump out just as Zhi Zhou is looking for him. Then Zhi Zhou would scream and laugh his deep belly laugh that makes me smile.
The laugh that I realized tonght that I'm not sure I've heard in a few days. Hmmm... maybe it's there, maybe I'm taking it for granted, or maybe I've jumped the gun on routine and am not just enjoying our days together.
Please Lord give me ways and ideas to help our family graft together and Micah to see that I am his mom.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Our week in pictures...
Some verses I've read this week that have been an encouragement. "The everlasting God is your place of safety. His arms will hold you up forever." Deuteronomy 33:27
"You will keep the mind that is dependent on You in perfect peace, for it is trusting in You. Trust in teh Lord forever, becasue in the Lord, is an everlasting rock!" Isaiah 26:3,4
We've enjoyed a week with no dr. appts! Next week we'll pick up Micah's AFO and it'll make us feel alot better having his leg protected. Even though we shouldn't we are taking a spring break next week... well, we're doing science and history and Isaac will continue doing reading since he needs to :) BUT we'll get done with all that fairly quickly and have some fun too! Science and history are laid back and promote lots of together activities which will help. This week has helped the kids get back in a routine.
And me... I am grateful for some routine and no dr. appts this week! I'm also grateful to hit my pillow at night. I had forgotten how coveted nap time was with a 2 year old! At the end of the day I feel very blessed and much like I am a cowgirl that has wrangled with calves (one particular 2 year old) all day ;) Gotta go... he's up!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
So glad...
That the friends of ours that picked us up from the airport caught all this on film... (Notice Faith running to us... well Micah actually!)
Our first family photo
My favorite 2 pictures....
Actually this one has to be my favorite. This relationship, as I've said before, was H-A-R-D earned but definitely worth the effort on both of their parts. Now if a few other relationships at our house could see the light at the end of the tunnel ;)
Friday, March 23, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Micah
We are just beginning to be able to come up for air at times and are grateful. Unfortunately the flu has struck our Faith also we are dealing with that (we are all on TamaFlu) but we are still enjoying our newest blessing and Joshua seems to be healing well. Thursday is his post op visit so we'll see what the doc says then about how things look inside his ear.
Micah is doing really great. He is still quite the active hand full but we added "some" school to the mix (a little of the 3 R's and Bible) so we are getting somewhere at least. Don't criticize me but I pay the girls to take turns watching Micah. Today was our first full day at home with no dr. appts and we had a good day!
Micah is such a "joyful soul" as many people have called him. Of all our adoptions this is the one I struggled the most with. I spent 6 weeks thinking I should just advocate for him but God's spirit wouldn't let me-over and over again. I spent those same 6 weeks thinking about all the unknowns like how Joshua would react, Micah's unknown medical needs, more dr. appts, having a toddler again, etc., etc. I had 2 people in particular just tell me, "Angie, you are going to have to just decide if he is your son or not." They were right.
Then, God did something so sweet. All these thoughts were always in the back of my mind and as I was helping Josh get dressed one day I really felt like God told me to stop thinking on all the reasons why we shouldn't and think about all the blessings I'd be missing out on. I really feel like God gave me a glimpse into Micah's personality. That he would be that "joyful soul" and give us SO much joy. I'm not claiming that having a 2 year old that gets into everything and does have medical needs is always fun BUT it is a blessing. It's easy to see when he screams "Yay" anytime we go anywhere. I was reminded of that still, small voice as I watched him in his car seat a few days ago suck on a sucker, then suck on his fingers like he does when he's tired, and then back to the sucker, over and over again.
And Josh and Micah... we really just had to trust God to work this out in Josh's life as well. I really expected God to mature Josh before we left for China but instead he has in the few days we've been home. It's been incredibly to see Joshua's God given wisdom and maturity. His little brother hasn't exactly been the picture perfect little dude either... always wanting whatever Joshua has. But Joshua has yet to "freak out" or revert back to babyish ways. He has really risen to the occasion.
I guess the moral to the story is that... it is ALWAYS best to follow God's leading, even when the outcome invokes fear in you and you can think of EVERY excuse not to do something. He does have our back after all ;) and this is just another peg in building our trust in Him.
Micah is doing really great. He is still quite the active hand full but we added "some" school to the mix (a little of the 3 R's and Bible) so we are getting somewhere at least. Don't criticize me but I pay the girls to take turns watching Micah. Today was our first full day at home with no dr. appts and we had a good day!
Micah is such a "joyful soul" as many people have called him. Of all our adoptions this is the one I struggled the most with. I spent 6 weeks thinking I should just advocate for him but God's spirit wouldn't let me-over and over again. I spent those same 6 weeks thinking about all the unknowns like how Joshua would react, Micah's unknown medical needs, more dr. appts, having a toddler again, etc., etc. I had 2 people in particular just tell me, "Angie, you are going to have to just decide if he is your son or not." They were right.
Then, God did something so sweet. All these thoughts were always in the back of my mind and as I was helping Josh get dressed one day I really felt like God told me to stop thinking on all the reasons why we shouldn't and think about all the blessings I'd be missing out on. I really feel like God gave me a glimpse into Micah's personality. That he would be that "joyful soul" and give us SO much joy. I'm not claiming that having a 2 year old that gets into everything and does have medical needs is always fun BUT it is a blessing. It's easy to see when he screams "Yay" anytime we go anywhere. I was reminded of that still, small voice as I watched him in his car seat a few days ago suck on a sucker, then suck on his fingers like he does when he's tired, and then back to the sucker, over and over again.
And Josh and Micah... we really just had to trust God to work this out in Josh's life as well. I really expected God to mature Josh before we left for China but instead he has in the few days we've been home. It's been incredibly to see Joshua's God given wisdom and maturity. His little brother hasn't exactly been the picture perfect little dude either... always wanting whatever Joshua has. But Joshua has yet to "freak out" or revert back to babyish ways. He has really risen to the occasion.
I guess the moral to the story is that... it is ALWAYS best to follow God's leading, even when the outcome invokes fear in you and you can think of EVERY excuse not to do something. He does have our back after all ;) and this is just another peg in building our trust in Him.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Home Again
Once again we are glad to be home! Home from Joshua's surgery that is. We are SO glad we didn't have to spend the night.The news from surgery wasn't exactly great but it wasn't bad either. The dr. was able to do what he wanted to in the left ear but unfortunately found the same thing, cholesteatoma, in the right ear. Bottom line... we'll be frequenting the surgery facility. It depends on how the left one heals when it'll all start again. Usually each ear requires 2 surgeries :(
Right now we are praying that his ear will heal well and we can keep him low key for a month.
Here's our little man watching TV... our new favorite past time as an effort to keep him still for the next month. Ugh! I am sending all the other kids outside even though they aren't too happy with me about it ;)
The bandage on his head has gauze packed around the left ear and he just has to wear it a few days to provide pressure for the draining. He actually likes it on there even though he only has to sleep in it now... I think he feels like it protects the spot and the pressure may feel good too. He does say his ear hurts but Tylenol seems to take some of the edge off. It is still draining on the bandages under this so leaving it on is certainly okay with me.
Micah did amazing with my parents. He was clingy to me in the evening when we got home and a bit fussy on Saturday morning but seems to be okay now.
My parents have been SO helpful! They kept 2 kids for us the whole time we were in China, totally stocked our fridge and pantry when we got back, and now have helped by watching kids and cleaning our house for 2 days as Josh had surgery and is recovering.
We thank God for you mom and dad and for your love for us and our kids! Y'all are amazing!
We also thank God that Josh is doing SO well with Micah. Micah is pretty territorial with him and Josh seems to understand and just move on with life. It won't last forever we know... praying for shorter rather than longer :)
Right now we are praying that his ear will heal well and we can keep him low key for a month.
Here's our little man watching TV... our new favorite past time as an effort to keep him still for the next month. Ugh! I am sending all the other kids outside even though they aren't too happy with me about it ;)
The bandage on his head has gauze packed around the left ear and he just has to wear it a few days to provide pressure for the draining. He actually likes it on there even though he only has to sleep in it now... I think he feels like it protects the spot and the pressure may feel good too. He does say his ear hurts but Tylenol seems to take some of the edge off. It is still draining on the bandages under this so leaving it on is certainly okay with me.
Had to include a photo of the di di.
And the dog with Isaac.
Looking at this photo tells me we have a long way to go to feeling better but trust me when I say he feels better than last night. Having surgery on an ear made recovering from anesthesia a bit more difficult in the keeping liquids down department.
My parents have been SO helpful! They kept 2 kids for us the whole time we were in China, totally stocked our fridge and pantry when we got back, and now have helped by watching kids and cleaning our house for 2 days as Josh had surgery and is recovering.
We thank God for you mom and dad and for your love for us and our kids! Y'all are amazing!
We also thank God that Josh is doing SO well with Micah. Micah is pretty territorial with him and Josh seems to understand and just move on with life. It won't last forever we know... praying for shorter rather than longer :)
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Whew!!
We have almost survived the first week home. And that is saying something for sure! We are doing well... all of us!
I will say this though. I've had a few people ask me, "So, is he adjusted now?" REALLY??!!!
What I say, "For 2 days or 1 week or 5 days home, yes, he is doing well."
What I want to say, "Well, let me take your 2 year old from all they've every known and drop them in China with some other family and see how they are doing!"
I'll just leave that one there.
We are doing amazingly well all things considered. Those things are just getting home, recovering from jet lag, 5 dr. appts and a surgery tomorrow.
Micah is learning survivor English and is a quick learner. He is just beginning to figure out his boundaries at home. We took him out and about WAY too soon and caused a few meltdowns... for him as well as me ;)
But we are slow learners but at least we learned our lesson. We cut out almost everything and for things we will continue one of us will stay home with he and Josh. Joshua will be on a no activity restriction for a month after surgery tomorrow so in some ways Micah's adjustment and his surgery work out well together. In other ways they do not. Such as today at the eye doctor both boys wanted to be carried so I had one on each hip. So that totalled close to 70 pounds! No wonder my back has been bothering me :)
We've gotten somewhat of a handle on Micah's leg and what needs to be done. It is bent and not broken so it can wait until he can tolerate the surgery and recovery. Recovery involved a rod and external fibulator for about 4-6 months so not something you want to put a newly home 2 1/2 year old through (or any 2 year old for that matter).
He gets fitted for a leg brace on Tuesday that he'll wear all the time. It'll hopefully help protect his leg from breaking and give him some lift on that leg to make his legs more even until surgery to straighten it.
All in all a good week. We had our moments in dr. offices... like when Isaac and Faith were blowing up latex gloves and then filling them with water. All this while the dr. was talking to me about treatment for Micah.
We've had lots of funny moments. I've gotten 2 unsolicited "wo ai ni"s (I love you). The girls were telling Micah he was whiny a few mornings ago and he thought they were saying "wo ai ni" so he started saying it too.
Joshua's surgery is at 11:40 tomorrow and he was doing well until we told him about it yesterday. Can't blame him for being nervous. So am I.
God is good and has certainly given us a great week as a family. We are SO grateful for good friends providing us with meals and for watching the kids for us during dr. appts today and surgery tomorrow.
Here are a few miscellaneous pictures of our week. The kids got to participate in a science fair on Tuesday with their co op. Included was a Pinewood Derby race that Isaac and Josh participated in. It was ALOT of fun. You can tell by the photo of Clayton and Micah that this night was also the night we realized anew that taking newly home babies everywhere is NOT ever a good idea. Sorry Micah!
I will say this though. I've had a few people ask me, "So, is he adjusted now?" REALLY??!!!
What I say, "For 2 days or 1 week or 5 days home, yes, he is doing well."
What I want to say, "Well, let me take your 2 year old from all they've every known and drop them in China with some other family and see how they are doing!"
I'll just leave that one there.
We are doing amazingly well all things considered. Those things are just getting home, recovering from jet lag, 5 dr. appts and a surgery tomorrow.
Micah is learning survivor English and is a quick learner. He is just beginning to figure out his boundaries at home. We took him out and about WAY too soon and caused a few meltdowns... for him as well as me ;)
But we are slow learners but at least we learned our lesson. We cut out almost everything and for things we will continue one of us will stay home with he and Josh. Joshua will be on a no activity restriction for a month after surgery tomorrow so in some ways Micah's adjustment and his surgery work out well together. In other ways they do not. Such as today at the eye doctor both boys wanted to be carried so I had one on each hip. So that totalled close to 70 pounds! No wonder my back has been bothering me :)
We've gotten somewhat of a handle on Micah's leg and what needs to be done. It is bent and not broken so it can wait until he can tolerate the surgery and recovery. Recovery involved a rod and external fibulator for about 4-6 months so not something you want to put a newly home 2 1/2 year old through (or any 2 year old for that matter).
He gets fitted for a leg brace on Tuesday that he'll wear all the time. It'll hopefully help protect his leg from breaking and give him some lift on that leg to make his legs more even until surgery to straighten it.
All in all a good week. We had our moments in dr. offices... like when Isaac and Faith were blowing up latex gloves and then filling them with water. All this while the dr. was talking to me about treatment for Micah.
We've had lots of funny moments. I've gotten 2 unsolicited "wo ai ni"s (I love you). The girls were telling Micah he was whiny a few mornings ago and he thought they were saying "wo ai ni" so he started saying it too.
Joshua's surgery is at 11:40 tomorrow and he was doing well until we told him about it yesterday. Can't blame him for being nervous. So am I.
God is good and has certainly given us a great week as a family. We are SO grateful for good friends providing us with meals and for watching the kids for us during dr. appts today and surgery tomorrow.
Here are a few miscellaneous pictures of our week. The kids got to participate in a science fair on Tuesday with their co op. Included was a Pinewood Derby race that Isaac and Josh participated in. It was ALOT of fun. You can tell by the photo of Clayton and Micah that this night was also the night we realized anew that taking newly home babies everywhere is NOT ever a good idea. Sorry Micah!
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